nine

Dear Garrett,

One year ago today, I sat in a darkened room in a perinatal center in Muncie and learned that I would be having a son. I was surprised by how excited I was to realize that a playful little boy would soon be entering my life; already I was eager for you to be a good big brother for all of your future siblings, already I was picturing the train sets and building blocks that would eventually litter the floor of our home. On that day I had the chance to see the most amazing images of the baby I was anxious to hold. You looked perfect! And even though you have now been outside my body for as long as you were in it, and in the last year have done a fair amount of growing, you still look like the same little boy I saw wiggling inside me.

In the last few weeks, your personality has blossomed and you have learned new ways of communicating with those around you. Even though a large part of me would love to hold you during every minute of my day, the fact of the matter is that you're growing too heavy. But that doesn't stop every ounce of me loving the way you reach your arms out to me as you sit on the floor, begging to be picked up. And I love the way your head bobbles as you shake it back and forth. This action doesn't mean no to you yet, and that probably does much to increase my opinion of how adorable it is.

You are also starting to express in understandable ways when you are hungry or full, loving your plums or disliking your peas. Pursed lips and hands which push away the spoon or bottle tell me I shouldn't press my luck, you won't be eating any more, thank you very much. And open-mouthed grins and fingers which grab eagerly for more tell me that I should keep it coming. Your favorite foods these days are chicken dinners served with rice and apples, strained plums, and softened cantelope, and, unless you're very hungry, you're starting to express a marked disinterest in most vegetables. We'll be working on that one. In the meantime, I'm happy to see you sitting in your high chair, exploring a handful of Cheerios and attempt to get them from your not-quite-yet nimble fingers into your ready, wide-open mouth.

You are still a toothless little boy, which, truthfully, doesn't bother me. I adore your gummy grin and will be sad to see it fade into the background of your pearly whites when they finally poke through. I think, though, that that time is getting close. The oddity that is your utterly strong urge to grab me by the cheeks or hair and pull my head close to yours so that you can gnaw on my chin with your hardening gums is certainly one indication, along with your own drool-soaked chin and shirt fronts, that teeth will soon be sprouting.

While on the one hand you are a remarkably content baby, in no apparent hurry to learn how to crawl, you are on the other incredibly busy. With your tongue dangling out, you play with your feet and suck on your toes, you scratch in fascination at the upholstery on the couch, and, with your pointer finger at the ready, you explore any zipper, button, or snap that comes into your view. You are easy to entertain and always fun to play with. You love to be read to, especially the bedtime stories Dad pulls out before tucking you in at night. And you are as amenable to laughing as ever!

You charmed me during the nine months I carried you inside me, and you've charmed me during the nine months since your birth. I cannot imagine my life without you in it, and am finding it harder and harder to remember the time when you weren't. I love you, Garrett, my sweet, precious, kissable little boy.

Love,
Mama

Garrett, March 2007


Garrett, March 2008