Went in this morning for Garrett's 9 month appointment. The whole ordeal was - how do I put it? - a little strange. First it felt more rushed than usual, and it didn't help that some other lady in the office was threatening to head straight to the ER if the doctor (who was at that moment with Garrett and I) didn't come calm her down right that second. Also, I kept having to tell the doctor, "No" as in:
Is he crawling?
Um, no....but he inadvertently propels himself backwards.
Is he pulling himself up to a stand?
Um, sort of? When he sits on my lap and I offer him my hands, he'll grab them and pull himself up. But he doesn't pull himself up onto random pieces of furniture.
Does he wave to you?
Only if you count spastic arm flapping.
Does he say "mama" or "dada"?
No, but he says "blah blah blah."
Any teeth yet?
Negative.
I know it does nothing useful for anyone to compare my baby to other babies, but not being able to answer these basic milestone questions in the absolute affirmative kinda got me down. So did Garrett's screaming. I suppose that if the doctor had asked me if Garrett is starting to display a bit of stranger anxiety, I could have answered that affirmatively, if only based on how freaked out Garrett had suddenly become to the doctor's gentle poking and prodding.
And to top it off, he only gained one pound (exactly) and, according to their measurements, hasn't grown so much as a fraction of an inch in the last two months. I do feed my boy, I promise! Anyway, here's how he measured up this morning:
Weight: 20 lbs 1 oz (50th percentile, down from 70th)
Height: 28 1/2" (60th percentile, down from 90th)
I sort of wonder if either these current measurements, or those taken at the last appointment - specifically his height - were a little skewed. After all, in the last two months, he's grown too long for several pairs of pants.
So there you have a little taste of my tendency to get anxious and worried over nothing. I know he's fine; the doctor said he was as healthy as can be. He even went so far as to tell me that some babies skip the crawling milestone altogether (to which I replied that I'd rather he didn't skip that one...I'm still bothered by his skipping the rolling over milestone). I guess that the still-compares-even-though-she-knows-she-shouldn't mother in me just wants to make sure he keeps up developmentally not only with himself, but with other 9-month-old babies, too.
Update: Okay, so with your kind comments of reassurance, as well as the passing of time and the rational thinking I've done with that time, I've been able to snap out of the funk this doctor's visit put me in this morning. I know Garrett is fine and healthy and developing at a rate which is, for him, perfectly normal. And I know that, while I'm far from perfect, I certainly am at least a decent mother who knows her child better, perhaps, than he knows himself.
What a roller coaster learning how to be a mother is! Just when I think I've got a good handle on things, something (usually insignificant) happens to push my panic button. It's a good thing, then, that I've got such great friends (read: all of you!) who help me put my head squarely back on my shoulders. If it weren't for you, I just might needlessly worry myself into a tizzy. So, thank you.
19 comments:
Quit worrying! :) Christopher wasn't hitting those milestones right on target at 9 months and "caught up" in a matter of weeks. I know it can get you down as a mom, but you just have to remember that these are huge ballpark milestones! Just keep doing what you're doing and Garrett will never cease to amaze you. I promise! Hugs!
Don't worry! Comparing babies is a natural motherly instinct, and it does no good! Logan didn't start crawling until he was 11 months, and now he gets into everything! Scooting backwards comes right before crawling. Kids also grow at completely different rates. Logan gained very little weight in the first 6 months, but lots of height, and in the last 6 months he has gained more height than weight, which is different than any other baby I know! You can never tell how babies will grow, and trust the doctor, I am sure he is healthy, especially because he is in a safe, healthy, and perfect environment to grow!
Of course Mr. Garrett is fine. A lot of babies plateau in growth for a while after the 6 month mark. But if you want to compare something useful...Garrett got 3 more easter baskets than Parker did. That is something that really count in life. Obviously, your family loves your baby more than we love ours.:)
I've been there too. It's so hard not to compare. Having two, I find myself always worried that Ben isn't where he needs to be because he's so different than Sarah. They're all different. Trust your gut. It's more than possible that your doctor messed up on measurements. You know best...he's eating, he's happy, he's growing out of clothes, he's stinkin' cute...what's to worry about?
I would just be grateful that he doesn't have any teeth! I need to channel the "no teeth for a long time" vibe for Easton. And I totally agree that all height measurements are essentially a guessing game. Also, don't you think it odd that everyone you talk to expects you to know the exact weight of your child at all times. I used to explain why I don't know exactly--but now I pick a number somewhere close to what I think he is and just say it with confidence. Works everytime!
I was going to say what everyone else did; you can tell if he's healthy or delayed or if he's fine. My kids both rolled everywhere for several months before crawling and they were both late to stand, cruise and walk. But they both eventually did it. S-Boogie also gained weight very slowly for the first two years; she only gained a pound between six months and a year and it worried me. But she's a totally normal, healthy kid now so it's not a big deal. He sure looks like a happy, healthy baby to me :)
Yeah, what everyone else said. Lindsay was behind in crawling, and didn't walk until 14 months. Definitely not worry time for you.
Yeah, Shaylie skipped the rolling over thing, and only crawled for a couple of weeks, then decided to walk. Every child is different, and every mom knows her baby best. You know Garrett is healthy and fed and happy, so that's all that matters. He looks perfect and adorable to me! Keep up the good work momma!
Thanks guys! Time, as well as your kind reassurances, both have made me feel a lot better. I don't know...his appointment this morning, more than anything, was just very weird. Probably thanks to the lady who caused our visit to be interrupted, the doctor seemed kind of preoccupied, which in turn made him act like he was worried about Garrett. And Garrett's fussiness during the exam certainly didn't help. The whole time thoughts like "Well...he has had trouble lately eating his vegetables," and "For the last few weeks, he's started waking up a few times a night screaming inconsolably...maybe something's just not right." But, give it a few hours and some more rational thinking, and I think I've snapped out the funk I was in this morning. I try hard to stay confident with my mothering abilities, but sometimes I slip and forget that I know that I'm doing everything I can to care for him and that it does in fact show that I do. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your comments...what great friends I have!
You are a great mommy! Keep it up!
Yeah, we know you feed him--you make all his food to boot. I'm always impressed. And just like everyone else said--don't sweat it. Asher didn't really say anything until he was 15 mos. old and now he talks more than every 2 yr. old we know. He was also so tiny they sent us to several specialists, and put him on all kinds of diets, only to conclude "well, I guess he's just little." It's hard as a mom, but Garrett looks great to me.
I've had similar worries/concerns about some of the milestones. Since Dean avidly hates being on his tummy, I'm bracing myself for him not making his "rolling over" milestone by his next check up.
One of my good friends said her first baby walked before she crawled. So, I know Dean and Garrett will get there eventually; we just have to stop worrying about it.
I've heard it's hardest with the first since you're LOOKING for them to hit certain things. And then with subsequent children you're like, "oh, hey, did you notice that [baby] is walking?"
He sounds like he is going great. My doctor was telling us that around this age they hit a plateau for a bit on their height and weight. They just drop down the charts a bit and then find their nich and keep growing. Kiara is only in the 10th percentile for her height and weight. she is only 16lbs. :)and 26 inches long. Like eveyone else said. He is doing things fine at his own rate!
Don't sweat the small stuff :)
Glad you're feeling better!
Roller coaster it is! I remember panicking when my friend’s little boy was talking and walking and just about doing brain surgery when he was a year old… and we could barely get a “car” out of Josh. I quickly learned that Josh is Josh, McKenna is McKenna and Drew is Drew. However! I still panic that Josh is four and not potty trained… then I realize I don’t want him to get into comparing himself to others so I need to stop… then I look at what other mother’s in my neighborhood can do… like keep a perfect house, baking bread and keeping a perfect yard and they even get dressed in things that aren’t sweats! And then I LAUGH ‘cause I realize if I keep going that way I’ll hyperventilate… and Chris hates it when I do that. LOL (This was meant for a laugh… just incase it doesn’t read that way). I think Drew smiles so much because I have to laugh a lot!
Well, it's clear from the comments section here that you're definately not alone in your mommy panic! We've all been there. I totally prided myself on not worrying much the first year but last summer when we were with my cousins and I watched Patrick's cousin (a girl and couple months older, but still) talking up a storm while he was throwing stuff over the railing and grunting to get picked up, I got myself worked into a right tizzy over language delays and what have you. And now... we can't get him to be quiet for three minutes!
It really does all seem to work out for most kids. I think the important thing is to listen to your internal mom radar that will let you know if there really is something to be worried about. One gauge is whether you went into the appointment with concerns and then had them validated, or went in feeling fine about your kid and just had some ideas raised for the first time.
Incidentally, I finally found a date for Patrick's first actual crawl (I was looking for Mallory recently) and he was one day shy of ten months old. And then he walked on his eleven month birthday. For him, he just had to get the ball rolling and he went from crawling to running in about four months time. They're all just so different.
There's a part of me that wishes we could ditch the developmental timetables, and therefore ditch the needless worry, but at the same time, I understand the need to watch them progress and watch for warning signs. It's just a matter of finding reassurance (like from the blogworld) that all is well, even when the numbers don't look like a textbook chart.
I'm glad to hear you're already feeling calmer. Just keep being the great mom that you are and hone that internal sense that will let you know if something is really truly wrong and help you move ahead when it isn't.
I too find myself the mother of a "delayed" little boy. All my doctor's appointments were just like yours: the doctor asking me a lot of questions that I said a lot of "nooooos" to. Little Sal didn't get teeth until he was well into his 10th month and didn't start crawling until his 13th month. He is just now grasping the concept of walking and he is almost 20 months old! He is fine, Garrett is fine. I used to tell myself, "Well, I've never seen a healthy three year old who wasn't walking!" It all works out and before you know it they're running around like crazy toddlers!
I can understand how that would be frustrating to answer negatively to all those questions. And worrisome - silly doctor making you worry like that! The comments here are great, too - I'll tuck them away for Kate's future visits.
And, for what it's worth, I think you're a great mommy.
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