tweet tweet

I recently read somewhere that the likes of novels, short stories, and even blogs have been outmoded, that the status update is now the new medium of creativity. Those of you who are addicted to Twitter know what I'm talking about. If this is, indeed, the case, and not just the opinion of a small handful of Twitterpated individuals, then, as a writer, I'm sunk. I don't do the status update -- at least not well. I've written and shared a few by way of Facebook and Gmail Chat, but, quite frankly, they all stink.

How can something so trivial as a status update be poorly written, you may be asking. Well, it's simple: just install into your head a brain like mine and you will see why I have problems.

First of all, I'm constantly changing my mind, which in turn would mean a constantly changing status update. In my mind, this doesn't quite defeat the purpose, but it certainly does seem to outdo itself. Take today, for example. In about five minutes of real time, I could tell you the following things:

Lindsay...

• is comfortably situated on my couch.
• is watching Garrett make his beet red poopy face.
• just changed the world's stinkiest diaper.
• mends mysterious holes in Garrett's shirt.

Obviously, because I have vowed to not spend my life glued in front of my computer, I wouldn't list everything. But how do I pick which one to share?

Let's say I've narrowed my favorite down to the last, and probably least offensive, in the list: "mends mysterious holes in Garrett's shirt." Enter my next problem: perfect wording. Do I like the status update as it is? Or should I change it to "is mending mysterious holes in Garrett's shirt." Or perhaps, "is mending three mysterious holes in Garrett's shirt." Or even, "just poked my finger while mending three mysterious holes in Garrett's shirt. Anyone have a bandaid?" The possibilities are endless, and I get dizzy thinking of them all.

So, no. I don't do the status update. I don't enjoy them (my own, that is...some people I know come up with wonderfully creative ones which, of course, have a tendency to make me wonder why I couldn't think up something like that). Consequently, as things stand now, I will never join Twitter. Aside from my absent ability to create status updates which I deem suitable enough to share, I prefer that the majority of my life take place in real time right in front of me and not in some online virtual reality.

No Twitter for me, thanks, but that doesn't mean I don't do birds. I love birds, and am loving just as equally their current rise in popularity. (Just walk through an Anthropologie, and you'll see what I mean.) And speaking of that fabulous store, a few days ago we hung up some birds that I purchased there a short time back with a bit of birthday money. I think they look lovely between our two living room windows -- like they might happily fly away after they've wrapped up their restful perch, but won't because they're nailed to the wall. Now these make me happy.