"SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM... lovely SPAM, wonderful SPAM!"

I learned today that SPAM* has an interesting -- some might argue spamtastic -- history. For example, how many of you are aware that SPAM's original name was "Hormel SpicedHam"? And how many of you are aware that the term SPAM was chosen by means of a naming contest after the market share for Hormel SpicedHam declined? And how many of you are aware that "Something Posing As Meat" is NOT an acronym for SPAM (though many of us, I'm sure, believe that it could be)?

SPAM comes in many varieties: Original SPAM, SPAM Oven Roasted Turkey, SPAM Smoke Flavored, and Electronic Spam.

Wait -- Electronic Spam? I thought we were talking about canned meat?

Eh, no matter... I generally consider both to be pretty nasty. Though, it's not just their poor taste, if you will, that they have in common. The term spam, meaning unwanted mass-distributed junk email, found its roots in Canned Meat SPAM. Back in 1970, Monty Python broadcast a sketch called "Spam," in which Mr. and Mrs. Bun, two hungry patrons of the Green Midget Cafe, ask the waitress what's on the menu. Turns out that our poor Buns are out of luck because every menu item contains a little (though more often a lot) of SPAM, and they are tired of eating SPAM. (Because apparently during WWII, SPAM was one of the only foods that wasn't rationed in Britain, and the Brits grew incredibly sick of the stuff.) A lot of shouting ensues, mostly by SPAM-loving Vikings enjoying their SPAM-filled meals at the Cafe. Their chants of "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, lovely SPAM, wonderful SPAM!" drown out the waitress and the Bun's conversation, thus "SPAMming" the dialogue. Though junk mail spam didn't actually exist until a few decades later, when it was finally born, people were quick to remember this skit and voila! The term email spam was born!

Blake and I both get a lot of unwanted spam mail. About a week ago, we decided to make a contest out of it. Since Gmail claimed it wouldn't delete spam mail for 30 days, we decided to see who could collect the most spam in a month. We would check it three times: after 24 hours, after 1 week, and after 1 month. Unfortunately, we had to cut our contest short because, even though Gmail says it won't delete Spam mail until it's been sitting for 30 days, it will delete any over 200. So here are the totals we did collect:

24 hours: Lindsay=35, Blake=26

1 Week: Lindsay=205, Blake=126

Clearly, I was the winner. Clearly. I think I saw mine go up to 211 before Gmail started deleting it. So now my question is: if I could collect over 200 spam email in one week, how many would I get in a month? Too many, that's what.

So there you have it: SPAM. It's more than just meat in a can.

Wait? What?! You want more?! All right. Suit yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you.

S P A M

*The good people at Hormel would like it to be known that canned meat SPAM should be spelled in all capital letters and treated always as an adjective. There. Now you know. So don't blame me when their copyright and trademark lawyers get after you for improper spelling and usage.