Last night was fun. I started getting intense and regular contractions and so, on the advice of my doctor, we headed to the hospital. While I was hooked up to the monitors, their frequency and intensity continued. However, because I'm not yet full-term, my doctor wanted to see if the contractions could be abated, so they inserted an IV and started a continuous drip of I-don't-know-what, but it worked. A pelvic exam just before I was released to go home indicated that the events of the evening had dilated me one more additional centimeter and left me 60% effaced.
So I'm halfway there, which on the one hand is great, but which on the other has left me in a state of complete anxiety. So many mixed emotions are coursing through me, and I have consequently been a total mess today. For the sake of this baby, I want him to stay where he is as long as possible. For the sake of my emotions, I want this pregnancy, with its turbulent ending, to just be over. I'm worried that because I've progressed so far, I won't be left with enough time to get to the hospital in time to actually deliver there (let alone have an epidural). The baby is also extremely posterior, which unless he flips around, could cause that delivery to be very difficult.
I saw my doctor again today for a follow-up exam and because I had a few concerns. Things have pretty much remained as they were at discharge last night, despite the frequent, though irregular, contractions I continue to have. Perhaps in large part to ease my nerves, I was prescribed a pill that will apparently stop false contractions, leaving it easier to distinguish the real ones. So far, though, it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.
And so the waiting game continues. In the meantime, Garrett is being cared for by my relatives in New Jersey. My aunt picked up him up this afternoon after her session working at the Manhattan temple and took him home with her. While this is indeed a huge blessing and relief, especially because of Blake's currently very hectic work schedule and my limited ability to manage life, let alone my toddler, it is turning out to be harder than I thought to not have Garrett here with me. It's like a part of me is missing. And, after talking with Blake, I know that he feels the same. He is in good hands, though, and will be getting more positive attention than I could give him now, given my current condition, and having him away will allow me to get some much needed rest.
I'm very aware that things might drag on, which would be great for the baby. But I don't know how much more pregnancy turbulence I can handle, and I really miss my little boy.
18 comments:
Wowsers. Hang in there, girl. That's CRAZY. And it's just SO hard to be away from baby #1 for the sake of baby #2. It's the beginning of this huge transition to two kids and that makes it MUCH harder.
On a postitive note, thank you so much for all the helpful moving information. I guess your aunt and uncle showed my hubby around town and advised him in his choice of rental homes--it looks like they did good! I can't wait to meet them, and maybe this means you and I will someday meet as well!
Good luck with the baby having. I hope it all works out as well as possible for everyone involved.
Why does the end of every pregnancy have to be so difficult???There are exercises you can do to rotate the baby if you google them. I hope you make it to the hospital in plenty of time to get an epidural. :)
That unknown part is the worst. Every day you wake up thinking, I wonder if I'm going to have a baby today. And every night you go to bed thinking, I wonder if I'm going to have a baby tonight. I hated not knowing-- being at the mercy of someone else's decision. I wish you all of the best this last little while. I hope everything goes swimmingly and that you are okay without Garrett. Good luck.
Hang in there Linds! I would be completely stressed out too--I'm thinking of you!
Oh, the being away from the other kids is always the toughest part for me. Take care of yourself though. It won't last long... soon your hands will be so full of new baby and busy toddler you'll never have the chance to rest!!
Oh, I'm so sorry. When I was on bedrest with the twinners, it was SO HARD to have my oldest gone. I missed her so much, although I generally saw her every night. I remember crying because I wanted to have the babies, and crying because I didn't want to have them, and crying because I was tired of being in bed, and crying because I missed my oldest, and crying because....well, you get the picture. Why do you have to have all the pregnancy hormones when there are problems with a pregnancy. I'm so sorry. Hang in there. I wish I were there to help and am so glad your aunt is!
Woah, girl! Half way there! Wait, how many weeks are you, exactly?! Cause it doesn't sound like that baby is going to drag this out much longer ...
Always better safe than sorry! Go in if you in any way, shape, or form feel the need to!!
Wow. Just wow. I'll be thinking of you. Try and get as much sleep as you can (as if you need to be told)!
Oh, goodness Lindsay. Hang in there. I think the last weeks of pregnancy are the most emotional. You can do it!
On a side note - My 1st and 3rd were both posterior; refused to be turned; and were delivered by forceps successfully. I was a bit more bruised b/c of it....but, all's well that ends well, right? :)
Got a good book to keep you distracted? How about "Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life" or "Eyre Affair" or a P.G. Wodehouse "Jeeves" book? "North and South" by Elizabeth Gaskell may be a bit too heavy for the brain at this point in pregnancy, but it's a good one too! You're in my prayers Lindsay Jane.
I know it is scary and I will keep you in my prayers. You can do it, even without an epidural.
oh good luck! you can do it. I will pray you don't have to have a c section! keep us posted!
Oh, dear. I do hope things go okay. Take a deep breath, watch many, many episodes of The Office, and check out a stack of funny and light-hearted books at the library (or get Blake to check them out--you just select them). Things are going to be okay, I just know it. *Sending out prayers for you*
Hang in there Lindsay! I really wish I were closer and could help you out. Blake was posterior and he came out fine, so things will be okay. Love you!
One day at a time. One day at a time. You can do it. Seriously, try to hold on as long as possible. Every day, every hour makes a huge difference for the baby. It is not fun having them in NICU. Believe me. Your misery will be short lived, but you will be glad you made it as far as you did.
You can do it.
WOMAN POWER!!!!
We heard you were in the hospital and thought you were having the baby yesterday morning! I actually woke up in the middle of the night thinking about you. I was dialated to a 4 for a week an a half before I actually had Henry last year. It was torture being so progressed but not kicking into labor, so I know how you feel in respect to that. We went to the hospital for two false alarms, since I had so many hard braxton hicks, and they were regular, and some of them very long and intense! But people were right - the real thing is much different. Good luck, I know you can do it. And don't worry about things happening too soon - even if things happen fast you will get to the hospital in time. It might make for a shorter labor if you are able to progress most of the way before you get there! That happened to my older sister last month. She waited so long to go to the hospital that she only spent one hour there before she had her baby!
And don't worry about the posterior thing, my sister had her boy (the same age as Henry) posterior, and everything totally worked out.
I have no personal stories to tell or anything, but I sure hope everything works out ok for you! We'll keep you in our prayers and hope you can relax a little bit.
Wow, for your sake I hope everything goes well for all (the baby stays just long enough for it to be healthy and happy, but not too long so you can see little Garrett again soon). That's great that you have relatives close by that can help out. Good luck and love ya
Elisabeth was posterior and all that meant was my labor would get intense for awhile and then slow down for awhile. So, maybe that is good news for you...it will give you enough time to get to the hospital!
Really though, I wouldn't worry about him being posterior. Elisabeth flipped while I was pushing and all was well.
Hang in there. Glad your Aunt and Uncle are so close to help. i am not sure what we would have done as we don't have family here.
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